not so desparate yet
Had some time before rehab started, so i went out to shop for groceries, let the machine do the laundry—the weather is challenging, but the laundry is dry in the evening.
Went to rehab on foot. It's about an hours walk, which took me 20 minutes longer, due to a pedestrian bridge being closed. Haven't seen the neighborhood i went through in decades, and was surprised by the open and positive mood of the place. It's only a surface level experience, which i hope is true to some degree, due to my knowledge of the place from my childhood days, where it was run down … on the other hand: it's no working class environment anymore i presume…
So, i was already «activated» when i arrived, and we started with a movement and breathing unit. I should have listened to my body, instead of taking out my anger about the annoyances of the day—why are the bottle deposit machines encrusted in filth? where did i put my phone? why are all these people here? why hasn't public transport reacted accordingly to the onslaught of humans who frequent these routes?—on it. I'm still able to do a headstand.
Occupational therapy was strange. Could not get anything done. Seemed like one of the Gundam Markers dried out, couldn't bother, i just wanted to prepare pieces for assembly. Somehow i also couldn't get any sprue marks off the pieces … i got them off, leaving very small marks that nobody else noticed. I was happy for a few of the other people, who got to embrace and accept the voice of their inner critic without succumbing to their remarks.
Got to talk with this week's new arrivals, and one story in particular reminded me, that we are in a programm that tries to heal the wounds that capitalism caused us, with mostly capitalistic answers. This person will loose the control of one of one of their arm in a not defined timeframe—we're talking of a time span ranging from this evening to 50 years in the future.
I wasn't able to mask up enough to talk to people on the tram on the way home.
Later in the afternoon, i noticed the weight of my body's aches.
Got a Robot figure from McFarlane Toys' Superman 2025 line of dollies. It looks great, and the missing disks, that attach the cape to its body isn't present in the sculpt of the figure, and it pissed me off.
Also picked up a Superman 2025 figure from FondJoy, due to McFarlane Toys offering looking weird; still dig their Metamorpho dolly though.
Want to get a Pedro Pascal figure for my council of Reeds … and the 77 Spider-Man figure. All that spending is compensating for the stress and the helplessness i've experienced over the last couple of weeks. Haven't felt this … no i realized how broken my body is in its current state, and i have no idea where to begin, and seemingly no guidance. And i'm desperately searching for a way—not yet so desperate to join a cult.